Over the past ten years I have been noticing the process, the events, and basically the physical, mental, and emotional ( and might as well throw financial in there) effects each sickle cell crisis has on me. In the past, missing days from school, and work I was always playing catch-up with my studies and bills. Missing days from work had me in the human resource office back in the day trying to explain what exactly this blood disorder was, why I was missing so many days from work and trying to get sick or vaction pay (That was prior to me going on disability which I’ve been on since 1996)
This difficult time period after a crisis and before another started (which sometimes was not very long in between)….I call it the, “Sickle Cell Reconstruction”.
Sometimes this reconstruction period can result in an extend period of depression, sadness, bitterness, anxiety, anger….while at the same time a sense of relief that its over and the focus of pain and only pain was temporarily gone.
After a bad sickle cell crisis I have realized I am constantly, “rebuilding”! I’m rebuilding my mind, my body and my spirits. I think its been about five years now that during this period I have learned to let go and allow this reconstruction period and process to take place smoother. For years I was so angry and bitter which would cause me to go right back into another crisis. I’ve learned to let it take its course, be becoming thankful for each day God Bless Me with and except the down time I was faced with. In the past I was always in a hurry to play catch-up with things, money, events and throwing my body back into another crisis.
And even though the episodes are extremely painful and some recover periods are difficult, I’ve learned to allow the reconstruction to take place instead of fighting it or making it worst….. I don’t let doctors control it, I don’t let the pain control it, I dont let sadness control it….. I let the building blocks of my mind and body take its course…OK this has not been easy to do!! Not with kids, relationships, bills , jobs, a household to run and life to live, but it is a regular process I’ve learned to deal with and accept.
It’s taken time but I have learn to supply my body with, “Herbs, fluids, healthy eating, rest, and positive reinforcements” and the reconstruction process takes place.